There’s nothing quite like the feeling of being safe.
Safe is when you belong to a family where you can speak your mind and not be scared you’ll be cancelled or zoned out.
Safe is when you can crack jokes (sometimes at the expense of your parents or siblings) and not get crucified.
Safe is when you can make the most idiotic mistake and not be scared to talk about it – because you know the people listening won’t pontificate, won’t look down on you, won’t ask you embarrassing questions, and in general, won’t make you feel worse.
Safe is when you can say no and not be vilified.
Safe is when you’re desperate for help and the person you call listens, helps you think of the best option, then actually helps you. Or finds someone in a better position to help you.
Safe is when you can be absent at a family thing or a reunion and know that you won’t be gossiped about, put down, or be an object of derision.
Safe is when you’re promoted and you KNOW your kind of people are happy for you.
Safe is when you owe someone – and you know that person isn’t looking down on you. Or isn’t saying, in so many words, “You owe me.”
Safe is when you have friends who actually stop talking about themselves to listen to you, because they’re interested in you.
Safe is when your friend takes the time – and the risk – to tell you when you’re headed for disaster. Or when you’ve got to get out of the mess you’re in.
Safe is when you can tell a trusted someone something confidential, and you know it won’t leak out.
Safe is when you’re with family or friends who don’t think they have to fix you all the time.
Safe is when you know you’re being tacky in this area of your life but your friend is thinking it’s just you being weird.
Safe is when you choose the completely wrong accessory for a big office event and your co-worker says, “Here. Use mine.” And hers is the perfect one.
Safe is when you’re rude and ill-mannered, and your sibling calmly says, “Take a break.” But not in a condescending way.
Safe is when someone (tactless) says, “How come your brother is so tall and you’re so short?” And your friend says, “Because it doesn’t matter.”
Safe is when someone backbites you, character assassinates you – and your friend tells the backbiter: “No. I don’t believe you. I don’t know why you’re backstabbing her. You’re so wrong to do this when she’s not here to defend herself.”
Safe is when you know this group of people you’re talking to won’t ever think ill of you for getting over-excited and over-talkative about something wonderful that just happened to you.
Safe is when you’re with people who allow you to be happy without any rancor or resentment.
Safe is when you know you can work hard, excel at what you’re doing, and not have to deal with petty politics or envy.
Safe is when you know you’re with people who won’t Schadenfreude you. It’s a German word that means “joy over some harm or misfortune suffered by another.”
Safe is when you succeed and you’re with people who are genuinely happy for you.
Genuinely happy.
Safe is when you fail and you’re with people who are there for you, who aren’t embarrassed to be seen with you, and won’t give you an elevator speech on how to correct your mistake.
Safe is when you fail miserably and your friend whisks you away to eat food you really, really like, and takes you shopping because it’s going to give you tons of happy hormones.
Feeling safe is a splendid feeling. It’s not being enabled. Or being coddled. Or being given illusions, false hopes, or a false sense of security.
When we make someone feel safe, it’s just being there for someone who needs a good place for that particular moment in time – whether he’s telling a joke or crying his heart out.
